Reflexive Thought #5 - Autumn and the view outside my windows......

The object of affection is such a reflection

of our former and/or present personalities;

a jewel of the unconscious autonomy.

-Reflection  in solipsism

 Reflexive Thought #5 -

Autumn and the view outside my windows......

This time of year is one in moments of hibernation. In this incubation, we learn to shed our skin and unveil many different feelings and emotions. Much like the myriad of trees and plants shedding an amalgamation of colorful leaves on the many green pastures on this earth, we will reveal many different thoughts within ourselves from the containment in sustainable periods of time throughout the present and/or former years. The future is never thought about; its the present that represents this unmasking in it cloak of realism.

I wrote this little idyll-prose this morning while I took a bus ride to school. I had this emotional erupting ascend from my present subconscious at that time. These emotional-pouring unveiled itself in a moment of self- unawareness.

I am at a pivotal point in my life right now. I about to obtain a goal while disrupting this tension that has tried to keep me shackled for years. I am not one who gives up nor lay down. I am a compassionate, honest, humble man. I wish to remain as harmless as possible. I want to contain, in my  mind, the many attributes aligning me with a duality in balance upon my path toward enlightenment and goal attainment.

For those of you who read this, enjoy; I hope you learn from this peace of my unconscious reflection. I am not devoid of reality nor am I an "all-seeing" philosopher of the universe. I am just a simple man making his way through the many avenues we call life. This is a piece of where my mind is presently roaming in one of those avenues............

AUTUMN & THINKING OF YOU

Autumn is in full bloom. As I walk down the sidewalk from the bus passing all the Language Arts building to Psychology Building for Japanese. I look to the left and see all the leaves decorate the lawn as they shed their summer and spring full sprout blossomed herbal leafiness.

Usually, some people feel lonely this time of year. Out of touch with family, friends, and loved ones. I have learned to grow accustom to enjoying such isolation, autonomy and freshness. These moment grow into solipsis bubble where regret, reflect, recollect, and memory become tools of leverage in this isolate state.

Usually, I start with the sad memories and work toward the good memories. As I, always, discard the ugly episodes, and embrace the beautiful episodes.

This issue of loneliness should never be something malignant for I receive plenty intellect and warmth from these moments. It's as pure as drinking a cup of tea in the morning while your mind is free from exhaustion and the noises in the background is saturated by this moment in silence. It's comforting like when I wear my favorite wear sweater while walking around in 50 degree weather around campus, in the city or on the beach. It's sparkles like the smile on your face while you are engrossed in laughter and conversation with friends or colleagues.      

Those images provides me with a spindle of emotion and a bundle of knowledge in my well being that a tear falls from my eyes streaming down my face on my cheek on to my beard as its soaked into the forest of hair follicles on my chin..... so pure, so illuminating, so lively, so lovely. I am alive....I am compassionate.....I am experiencing.....Buddhaness.
    

Haiku:

Leaves fall asunder,

A man walks in wonderness,

a root of tranquility.

Reflexive Thought #4 - Reflection in travel........

As we voyage onto the unknown in this lifetime, 

we become familiar with the known. 

This familiarity render a strength in fate.

As one does travel,

one become autonomous from the illusions of recollections.

Thus, modernity become distance from 

these delusions in transition......

-Anonymous 

Reflection in travel....

Reflexive thought #4 - Reflection in travel

I was looking at some of the photos of a friend of mine I met a couple years back while I attended SF State. He is from  Tokyo, Japan. His name is Naoki. We hung out a couple times, you know 'Bro-dates' in San Francisco. We went to see a live  band performing various DJ Shadow's songs while he took photos of us in our mischievous moments at the event (we even met DJ Shadow in front of the club, real chill homey); also, he, Keiko, two other people, and myself all drove out to the Mountainview Shoreline Amphitheater to watch Bjork perform one of her legendary set,s and we both went to see Mono perform at the same venue of the DJ Shadow live band, I was videotaping the show while he sat upstairs in the Mezzanine sleeping with his arms folded over his chest in a chair, I wish I had a picture of it. This venue was the legendary Great American Music Hall.

As it turns out, Naoki returned to Tokyo after that last semester of studying at SF State. He went back to his life over there in Japan while I was able to follow and communicate via Facebook. After a year has passed, he posted on Facebook that he moved to Singapore to work for a newspaper. I was very excited and in awe of this event.

Recently he has begun to post photos of his travels there in southeast Asia, a place I wish to call home real soon). I was on Facebook and saw he posted some new photos. In my heralded excitement, I saw these series of photos where from Nepal.

Traveling is probably one of the most addictive activities in the world. I love traveling for the extreme limitlessness adventure. The purity of the gem is the priceless moments of breathing air in another hemisphere of the world, listening to the constant chatter of locals in their native dialects, which are foreign to our ears, sleeping in a bed, a floor, a couch, or a spot different from the comforts of your native abode, it all become this relative out-of-body experience. Your senses are infested with myriad of emotions like a ball of flurries dispersing in the winds in the fields of dandelions planted in a soils rich as the liquor you drink from the bar that is across the street from the cafe of the building where your hotel is located.

Aaaaahhhhh! The true beauty of civility is the severity of reality! The reality is he's there. Everything is pure. Everything is illuminate. Everything is real. Every photo he encapsulates with his camera, is as if, he took pen to paper writing every moment, feature, and detail of his travel progressing in the movement of every minute ticking by the seconds increasing on the hours of the days in the week he is inhabiting the culture of Nepal.

I am sure Buddha is touching his soul right now. I would love to touch that same soil, that same sky with my heart, my hands, my body, my skin, my hair, my soul while soaring the different patches of land as an eagle gliding over the Himalayan heavens to greeting the great masters of compassion and enlightenment. For know I have such a long road is an ultimate test in spiritual practice and soulful assessment of my existence. I see this travel as a investment in the soul's kitchen cooking up the porridge of mantras from the lips and breathes of the blessed lama deep in the temples of the Himalayas.

Damn, Naoki, you kicking it with Papi Buddha. He's the butter of the delicious milk tea from the Gobi Desert sands of time and the grassland fields of Ulaanbaatar that I have been hearing about. There is no other way to put it. You are on the level 5th,. 6th, and 7th level of the pathos that can touch the soul. Your feet are like kindred spirits with each step has a golden touch. How surreal? How appealing? How dazzling? You are living the life that many can only read, imagine, and memorize in the hoo-hum in moderation. That's the sensation. You have become the teacher to amateur apprentice of living the dream: traveling on the road.

I just want to conclude my man, that "YOU ARE THE MAN!" You need to keep doing "pimping Nihonjin!" Your sukiyaki BANG is the ZANG that keep the TANG tasting like RAIN! Yeah! My man, one day we will be chilling holding glasses or mug in each  of our hands and toasting to the beauty of life and the cultures we have yet to experience their profound glory, history, and purity of existence.

I wrote this reflection as a reminder to myself, and to whoever is reading this. If you have a dream. It does not stop unless you stop walking, stop talking, stop thinking, and stop breathing the morsel of air seeping in to your pours to your veins into the dendrites, axon, and cells to electrify your brain. You must understand people, we all have a reason to live as we have a reason to die. If you can't envision yourself doing the things you love then you can't truly understand what love is. This is life and how you live it is how you believe in life itself.

Peace from the hearts, the souls, and the minds of those like Naoki and myself, who will make things happen in our lives. Regardless of our own culture references to validity; we have learned that our knowledge, and our power in education has opened roads to vast and wide avenue far and wide!!!

Haiku

I asked a monk if

"If is rain does it pour?"

Monk said, "Why should it rain to pour?"

REFLEXIVE PSYCHOLOGY - The Art of the Self: Reflexive Thought #3

REFLEXIVE PSYCHOLOGY - The Art of the Self: Reflexive Thought #3: " Reflexive Thought - A Ridiculous Rambling About Love? I was reading Dostoevsky's The Dream of a Ridiculous Man while taking the train t..."

Reflexive Thought #3

 Reflexive Thought - A Ridiculous Rambling About Love?

I was reading Dostoevsky's The Dream of a Ridiculous Man while taking the train to downtown 7th Street Metro station. In the beginning of Part IV, he wrote, "All right, suppose it was nothing but a dream; still, the sensation of love left in me by those pure and beautiful people has stayed with me always. I still, to this day, feel their love flying out of me...."

I kind of thought about those sentence I read when the train arrived into 7th Street Station. Love?  I am in hysterical laughter at the thought of it; plus, I recollect to the many episodes, in which, I believed, I felt, or I thought that I was in love. It is such thin concept to me, now. I know there is more to love then what I have experience in my recollections. From this inquisitive after thought, I take a minute to reflect with a cup of Chamomile Tea at the downtown Starbucks (Where have all the real coffeehouses gone? I miss the smell of real Cappuccino! Ah!).

In this introspective state, I procure the following questions:
How do we know we are in it? Love?
How do we know when we feel? Love?
How can we Sense it? Touch it? Taste it? See it? or, Define it? Love?

Pure and simple, we don't know when. It something unpredictable. Love has been defined in myriad journals, books, poems, idylls, lyrics, movies, videos, painting, drawings, songs and proses, etc. I, myself, can't even account when I have been truly in love for the many romantic-manic episodes I have relished in; whether, they were relationships, dates, or marriages. Yeah, I said the dreaded M word 'marriage.' Yuck! However, the inference remains to be open to interpretation, which is: Why we have these manic episodes of love? Because, I believe, in my situation, that I didn't understand the conditions of love at the time I supposedly felt I was in love. What a stupid as to be caught in such a funk like a fink!

When we say we are in love, we have to account for certainty. Not calamity! To claim love in an assumptive manner, is a claim left empty by thoughtless action derived from pure hyperactivity, basically, 'Mania.' What is the rush? When we get struck by this chord of love? What is the rush? When we want to obtain this emotional experience? When in this state, we all seem to be as little children in a candy store with a hand full of cash and eyes wide open to all the delicious-sweet treats our sinful hearts desire.....

Desire? Now, that word has some relation to love. For in desire, we transform into this state of objectification in longing or in attachment to accolade(s) to represent our suffering. This suffering, supposedly, will relinquish the cessation toward a reward cloaked in love.

Suffering? Another word associated in the influence of one's desire toward an accolade that represents what one's objectification has influenced this cessation. In this cessation, their is much pain, sacrifice that postulates into an result of obtaining the object that represents our love.

In all, those few words are as close as I could describe as love, or that feeling of what is love. Whether it is imagined or obtained in simple purity. One thing is for certain from my bouts of love, I have learned in the past year, from last summer until now, is there is the one thing we all must face in our voyage upon attaining this powerful entity of human behavior: ourselves. We all have been raised by the grand idea that love is this magical spectacle you can obtain if you were to follow certain behavioral cues with the right job, the right car, the right people, the right personality, the right words, the right clothes, the right shoes, or even, the right hairstyle. That, this phenomenon can conquer all and sooth our souls.

Yes. Maybe, love could do that very thing; however, I am sorry to tell some of you; this is not necessarily correct, in most cases. If you are going to be truly in love, first, you have to believe, to cherish and to love yourself.

Loving yourself is reflexive of how we will see others in ourselves, as well, how we will dress, how we will live, how we will diet, how we will conquer, and who we will survive amongst others. Every decision we make and every thing we do will be reflexive of what we see in ourselves. If, we can't love yourself, then being in love with another person, a piece of art work, a song, and an idea, will not fill the void that hallows away in our hearts. A hallow barrel the size of a shotgun barrel. This scare will remain to tarnish our existences while we search for the one thing that can answer the question that separates us from the truth of love That truth being: ourselves. It's reflexive of who we are as human beings.

Man, talking about running in circles. I rather be in a rocking chair sippin' on a lemonade while watching the sunset and smokin' a fat bowl from the pipe of love. The pipe I made from love. Now, that is a great image of love; knowing, I have already contain it, and obtained it, in myself.  Perhaps, this may have answered some of the questions of love in myself and for ourselves. Perhaps, just perhaps this is love.

Reflexive Thought #2

Reflexive Thought - How low can I make myself go?

Rollins Band Low Self Opinion Lyrics:
I think you got a low self opinion man
I see you standing all by yourself
Unable to express the
pain of your distress
You withdraw deeper inside
You alienate yourself
And everybody else
They wonder what's on your mind
They got so tired of you
And your self ridicule
They wrote you off and left you behind........

 

I remember when I heard this song years ago. Rollins is always on the level and he knows his shit! The hedonistic savage poet of the spoken word rhyme. He always on the dime. Always. I keep think about how I projected my self as years rolled on. 

This song personifies an individual in a tug-of-war with the reality of being low. I mean 'low' & 'feeble.' That songs rings in my head everytime I think of how I had many times set myself up for the dramarama! Not drama from outside my reach, but drama when it came to females and confidence in my endeavors. The ability to make myself feel so low. It was bullshit!

I kept experiencing this 'bullshit' as time went on until I reached a point of 'lowness;' that point where patheticness  wasn't exist, because you've exhausted beyond recognition to become synonymous with 'utter shameful stupidity (break out the tissues & violins Irene).' I could not endure the disappointment and sadness I restricted myself to. The punishment was exhausting. I was exhausted. I couldn't take it any more. I think it hit me hard when I left San Francisco last summer around May. The environment was vicious, the people were unbearable, and I was wasting my time trying to accomplish a goal in a place where the rules are not in accord with my lifestyle. Everywhere I went and everyone I met was like a brick wall that I kept pounding with my fist and screaming at the top of my lungs until I lost my voice! Unbearable!

The temptation to feel this 'lowness,' this 'emptiness,' this 'patheticness' is the perfect example of someone who is at strife with their self! The strife for what exactly? This strife could not go on any longer. 

This is when, I start to reflect back to my youth. I remember my 7th grade social studies class at East Millbrook Middle School in Raleigh, NC. In social studies class, I watched many films and read chapters on many different martyrs and civil rights leaders in history around the world. For instance, M. Gandhi, G. Maier, M.L. King, Jr., and Malcolm X, etc. The one thing I learned from these people was they sacrificed for those who suffered. They believe if they were to suffer as they people or suffer while the people suffered there would be some sort of change. I believe in this power to suffer, but what I did not take into account was the result from this action. The other thing was who would join me in this suffering? That probably what attracted me to punk music. The lifestyle was geared toward social change. I believed I could make a difference.

As years passed on, the only difference I saw was the economy, politics, my finances, my residences, my friends, my jobs, and my opportunities all putting me into a box. I was emotionally-physically abused by my stepfather, heavily as a child, but my suffering was focused upon sacrifice for a sociological standpoint (this abuse wasn't a focal point in my 'lowness,' but it did help keep the weight on my shoulder during sometime in my adolescent and early adult years). Yeah, I was always swindled out of money. That seem to be the only motivation I saw by others. Their motivation to gain more money, in which they would haqve more power. More power of what? 

 

I am a person who literally follows a creed; I would follow these philosophies or rules without breaking from theme; yet, everyone around was always breaking the rules. Everyone was being wishy-washy! Yet, I knew that I would learn something from this attitude and gain a greater respect for myself and for those I respect. But, what was it and when would I?

This apex finally arrived when my self-loathing behavior it a high note! I would literally deprave myself until I realized, 'I didn't have to live this way!' Finally, that light bulb turned on! Valhalla! I thought at that moment, 'Why do I even bother to care about them or what they think?' I would tell myself that 'I didn't care' until one day I stop telling myself to not care about the bullshit! Exactly, my detachment from this circus I called 'truth' and evolve to something called "self-respect.'

I decided one day, "I want to have better food, better women, better drink, better times, better clothes, better relationships, better travel, better adventures, and a better life." I wanted to live my life. I wanted to stop letting myself be a punching bag for others, at the same time, punching myself in the balls! I want to exhale this BULLSHIT and inhale THE REAL SHIT! I wanted to be the REAL ME! I wanted my mojo, my fire back! I wanted my life back! I wanted to taste some respect! Some self-respect!

Ever since, I decided to go for it! To DO IT! I have not returned to that sad motherfucker I use to call 'Me.' I chose to be the man I am! I am not backing down from nobody. I am not running from nobody. I am thinking about the past. I am in the present. I am in the Self. I am in the Respect. I am in the Desire. I am in the Design. It is all there! I can taste it, the pleasure to live the life I know I can live.

 

 

I want to thank the Buddha, The Rollins Band, the Self, and the many other individuals, philosophers, experiences, fiends, friends, foes, allies, haters, lovers, nay-sayers, hip-hop hoorayers out there who just get it done! When you get so tired of being 'low,' what do you expect to do? Where do you expect to go? Well, I know I am not going no where. I am going to face it head on like I suffered. I know there are consequences, but these consequences lead to rewards to birth one's confidence. To end he silence in suffering!

 

This blog is dedicated to the ones who hurt inside! You don;t need to live that way! It is time to sacrifice...the suffering. Otherwise, there will never be no peace, just suffering; Don't turn your body, your mind, and your soul into a prison; turn it into a passion-machine!

Rollins Band - You Didn't Need

I'm not down
I can't deny it
I didn't want it but I got it anyway
I didn't want it and I couldn't get away
Even though it hurts inside
I miss you
I keep a lie alive
In my dreams I kiss you

Everything I said to you
I wrack my brain trying to remember
I wreck my brain trying to dismember
I'm sorry I still feel this pain inside
It shows on my face like a scar
Some people are better left alone
Any part attached to you
It's something I can't hide
It hurts so much when you have nothing to say
It hurts so much to have to walk away

REFLEXIVE PSYCHOLOGY - The Art of the Self: Reflexive Thought #1 - My Summer Vacation

REFLEXIVE PSYCHOLOGY - The Art of the Self: Reflexive Thought #1 - My Summer Vacation: "My Summer Vacation I am sitting in my apartment. It's around 12 noon. I have 3 to 4 weeks before Fall Semester starts again. This has bee..."

Reflexive Thought #1 - My Summer Vacation

My Summer Vacation

 I am sitting in my apartment. It's around 12 noon. I have 3 to 4 weeks before Fall Semester starts again. This has been one chill summer vacation. I have actually had plenty of time to reflect and think about my next steps toward achieving my goals. I have learned in situations like this that these steps are to be taken cautiously. Every move I make is done with the utmost caution. Hmmm....this behavioral cue is a clue to my revitalized state of mind.

Furthermore, I say to myself at this moment, "This is the best summer I have ever had." I was immobile. I was tolerable. I was silent. I was selective. I was patient. I was introspective. I was clever. I am better than ever. I used this time to invest my energy into endeavors, which to illuminate my personality. I had time to practice a better diet, cook natural-healthy food, and balance a budget. I had time to read books. I had time to start writing my very first book. I had opportunity to see some concerts, visit some museum exhibits, drink at a pub, experience some events, and sun bath at the beach, I had time to plan my next vacation, traveling exploits. I had time to plan my classes for the next two years before graduating from school. I had time to set-up some projects. I, even, had time to sleep, relax, rest, and release.

Why am I saying all of this? Because, it needs to be said. Sometimes, we all need a break. Sometimes, we all can be so overwhelmed in life that we never get time to rest, to think, to breathe, or to live; these distractions, illusions can pile up to a point that barricade us from our humble beginnings before the this sudden maelstrom. This summer was truly a vacation. It had nothing to really do with traveling to different countries or different cities, or going to numerous parties, or getting heavily inebriated to the point of no return, or having lots of money to waste, although it never hurts to have some of it in moment like these.

This vacation was truly a sigh of relief. This vacation was the first time in my life I began to see where I am headed in my life. From what I can I have seen, my present is headed in the right place. When your senses and mind are lucid; you will have total autonomy in your life. It's a wonderful feeling to have control of your life & mind. This feeling makes you feel alive again. I feel just like that; Alive.

I have had some much time to reflect, revise, regress, and revamp my spirit. It was a gift that no once could have ever replace or given to me in a more opportune moment. It meant a whole lot to breath fresh air again (Well, the smog present in the LA air is not what we could call fresh, but it will do).

I am ready for the next level. I am ready for what is to come, and the best part is I can utilize my energy, my tools, and my efforts to make the present state procures the image of my future state. I live in the present for the past has vanquished and the future is an illusion. I don't believe in illusions or talk of delusions. I think of the now. I feel of the now! It is happening; right now!

What I am writing at this moment.
What I hear at this present moment.
What I fell at this present moment.
What I see at this present moment.

I see a computer screen with words from my mind to this page to your eyes reading these words to fill your mind with these thoughts then your thoughts which becomes our thoughts of many thoughts. Now, you are connected to the kinetic energy of the present. Its omnipresent.Your future is your present. A matter fact your future is now. The last word is now!

REFLEXIVE PSYCHOLOGY - The Art of the Self: Feng Shui- Synposis & Tips

REFLEXIVE PSYCHOLOGY - The Art of the Self: Feng Shui- Synposis & Tips: "What Feng Shui supplement can provide for your home or work environment? Definition Feng Shui is the ancient Chinese science of ' q..."

Feng Shui- Synposis & Tips

What Feng Shui supplement can provide for your home or work environment?

 

Definition

Feng Shui is the ancient Chinese science of "qi" (energy) that acquire its knowledge and foundation based upon the concession of the natural laws of Heaven and Earth. Feng Shui powers are invested in nature own energy structure (what we would call the Five Elements). This energy and wealth provides a stable flow of polarity (derived from the utility of Yang and Yin) as the necessary tools to blend positive/negative energy of one's own environment in total cohesion.

Yin and Yang/Polarity

This cohesion for the spaces we occupy, whether it be for residence or for work, contains energy unknown to our bodies. These energies can influence the development in our bodies internally and externally within these spaces, environments we occupy on any given moment.

To describe the actions that creates this energy let's first discuss "yin and yang," which are the oppositions we experience  in nature such as dark/light, fire/water, liquid/solid, internal/external, and masculine/feminine. The second actions to discuss is "polarity," which is the creation of yin and yang within these environments being built from that energy. These actions can represent a number of things, but all these actions will equate either a positive or a negative energy. When you have a stable utility of polarity your yin and yang will provide a balanced body-mind-spirit in either your personal or professional environments.

How to apply to home and work spaces (environments)?

To apply such a unique science in the western hemisphere has been simplified in many different techniques (like the video above); however, I would suggest you study the original Chinese philosophies to understand the history and the power of Feng Shui's concepts from it's origins. The key understanding from Feng Shui practice is we want to invest our time and our research into "qi (energy)" that will supplement our environments into an equilibirum with the Self and with others inhibiting these spaces. Feng Shui is easy and fun to practice whether you have a small or large space.

Below are some URL's to various sites that have information, history, and tips on how to apply Feng Shui to your space-environment for your lifestyle or any other lifestyle that seems fit in this world.

Feng Shui URL's

http://www.chienergy.co.uk/yinyangtext.htm

http://www.fengshuitips.co.uk/home.htm

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Feng-shui/112485522099225?sk=info

http://www.designingonline.com/home_decorating_articles/feng-shui-decorating-tips-bedroom.html

http://officerefurbishmentlondon.wordpress.com/2010/02/04/the-ancient-art-of-feng-shui/
http://www.fengshuicrazy.com/
http://fengshui.happyhomezone.com/fengshui/

The Art of the Self (Asceticism-Part 1)

The Art of the Self (Asceticism-Part 1)

Can we truly be humble? Can we truly be merciless? Can we truly be ascetic? I remember standing at the bus stop on Westwood & Santa Monica Blvd. on my way to the beach on Saturday. I exited off the Metro 704 express at Westwood to catch the Big Blue No. 8 bus into Santa Monica. I saw a homeless man carrying large bags at the bus stop; he boarded the same bus with me and was able to afford a ride going up the street for 10-15 blocks. We reached his stop that was a supermarket to recycle some cans and bottles for cash. I didn’t understand the point of his trip when he could just have walked. I presume he was tired and the comfort of public transportation allowed him not to waste energy he could used for other means like eating, talking, and work. I realized from watching this man, from watching a group of cyclist ride their bikes from L.A. to Santa Monica down Santa Monica Blvd., from watching joggers running around the neighborhood at the various bus stops off Santa Monica Blvd., and  from watching people walking their pets up and down the Boulevard; how paramount ascetic practices are in development of the Self and how the Self can take this methods to strengthen their abilities to the next level while in practice. Yet, what would be required of ourselves from this method to obtain these strength and virtues of mega synergy?

To begin, let's define the term asceticism that is described as "a lifestyle characterized by abstinence from various sorts of worldly pleasures often with the aim of pursuing religious and spiritual goals."  There are many examples provided for the practice of ascetic methods. It seems the principle purposes of ascetic practices are to obtain energy while freeing the Self from compulsions, indignations, and uncontrollable behaviors clouding an indivdual's spirit. I believe in application of ascetic methods in the Art of the Self these categories will be involved:

1. Environmental (space-community-dwelling)
2. Physiological (body-mind-spirit)
3. Psychological (behaviors-habits-beliefs)

Those categories are the paramount focus for my series on asceticism in the fortifying the Art of the Self. The ascetic methods will bring into fruition the importance of these categories involvement in the transformation in the Art of the Self. There can be no future state without a present state to evolve from. This is the idea behind the Self, to evolve, to revitalize, to progress, to demonstrate to anyone how the Self is the nexus of every morsel of energy we utilize to have our surroundings enriched with synergy. Asceticism, what does it offer to the Art of the Self from the environment itself?

Ascetic practice: Environment

The environment is a surrounding that we may enculture, saturate, or disintegrate within the Self; yet, these qualities are sometimes surface level and sub-surface level. When we practice ascetic methods we must develop knowledge of our Self in the environment; this would be a sort of self-observation. There are certain idiosyncratic qualities contained in the surroundings we inhibit.  These inhibitions are central to peeling and shedding the surface of the Self. For example, we should notice how the various images from modern culture has provided in the guise of vices, devices, and products to fulfill our consumeristic desires. These desires merit our success in our modern societies, yet when tedium has converted to compulsion, what will we direct our energy toward to merit a reward for our continued success? How can we see that these consumptive-compulsions are barriers toward a dire deaden of the Self?

When we have reached this apex of tedium, this inquisition plants the seed and this fruition begats the first step toward enriching the Self with a pure merit that energizes the spirit. One great example we could investigate is how we could organize our personal space-environment in a collective number of ways. This one historical method is known as Feng Shui (translates "wind-water" in English) is a perfect example of ascetic practice for in in this method there is an aesthetic belief of one (Self) wanting to introduce 'positive energy' into their environment by the governed laws of Heaven and Earth.

In a sense, this ascetic practice is a alchemical method of weeding out the malignant energy in our environments and constructing the inter-structure of these environments into a more powerful space of  peace and tranquility; thus, utilizing the polarity of the positive and the negative infusions into the environments we inhabit as a safe refuge from the world outside parameters of the organized space we have transformed.

As we draw ourselves farther away from our descension that leaves some of us disheveled in clear context, we should ask ourselves at this primary point: What got me here in the first place? We must take a long hard self-examination at what had perpetuated this dishevelment and what our environments did to help perpetuate this emasculation of the Self. This is the paramount power of asceticism; when you can wipe the surface clean and eliminate all distractions without exerting access energy to further progress in the transformation; this energy is what I want to ascertain your attention at this moment, in the utmost dire sense.

Energy's basic definition is the ability to work, activity; however, when we use the word work, activity it's definition varies. What the ascetic practitioner develops from methodical exercises is to alleviate there wasteful attention of these various vice, devices, and products that has us in a state of delusion derived from illusionment within the environments. We must understand "our energyenergy to accomplish more goals within the environments.

In our existence, its necessary to survive and to overcome any damages to our energy in the environment we inhabit; in other words, we have to learn to shed our own skin. By doing so, we understand that to alleviate the Self of certain vices, devices, or products, which are to substitute ideas and virtues that we had deem healthy, pleasurable, and desirable due to there accessible position, is a paramount adjustment to invest in the Self for better energy and brighter synergy. Once we learn to eliminate these distractions then our journey will elevate to newer iridescent boundaries. Everything will become lucid and we can learn that "subtraction" could equate to "addition" in a reflexive quality of the Self. The establishable goals for the ascetic practitioner from this point of view is patience, discovery, and energy (synergy). These things will come into fruition once the Self has decided to embark upon this transformation.Remember, life isn't handed to you gift wrapped for things have to be constructed  in time allowing deconstruction of the basic situation we inhibit, particularly the one familiar to us: ourselves. As the Self echoes this reprise to the air of Heaven and Earth, "your environment is suitable as you make it, not the environment is made suitable for you!"

The Part Two of this discussion on ascetic practices will continue on the Physiological category, the realm of the human body. Until the next voyage in to the realm we know as the Art of the Self! This is an Art that not only heals, but is an Art that unreels from only the Self.

The Art of the Self - The Challenge (How much Karma does one know exist?)

I am sitting in front window of a restaurant on the boardwalk in Santa Monica. I am drinking one of the best Stouts I have ever tasted while waiting for my Portabella Mushroom burger. Today is very beautiful and I am alone enjoying this meal to make this a perfect soliloquy; yet, what is perfect about this moment I am experiencing alone with an edible and a liquid refreshment? What could possibly make things worse in this moment in time? Some would call it fate, bad luck, or blame it on "Murphy's Law?" I have a better term Karma.

I remembered reading a book on the Hindu faith about 5 years back and it gave a stern definition of Karma. I lost that book, but wikipedia offered a similar definition, "Karma is not fate, for humans act with free will creating their own destiny. According to the Vedas, if one sows goodness, one will reap goodness; if one sows evil, one will reap evil. Karma refers to the totality of our actions and their concomitant reactions in this and previous lives, all of which determines our future. The conquest of karma lies in intelligent action and dispassionate response."


From the Hindu philosophy, Karma is seen as a universal code of civility in moral conduct. The basis of Karma is to allow individuals to live in rhythm with their environments and their habituations by the result of their actions, deeds.When applied to the Self, Karma is prudent in the result from the actions the Self perpetuates. My sitting alone at this restaurant on this beautiful hot Saturday morning is idyllic in its description; yet, it's karmic in its action. I chose to be alone in this moment. It's a moment I devote to the Self. I want the Self to understand that each action has a reaction like 'cause' and 'effect.' We know life's problems and obstacles are unavoidable. I am not one to evade these pressures; yet, I am not one to evade life's pleasures, as well. We as humans must learn to define our choices with actions that will have dire results in the future.

When I was returning home from Santa Monica, I noticed how trashy the floor was on the Blue line heading toward Long Beach. Of course, they have a janitorial staff that would clean this up, but my point is focused at the event. I am not going to blame the people, and myself, who saw this mess and did nothing to clean it up. How could we? The blame is the result of someone else's action and we all have to experience it by sitting in that train cab amongst the mess of newspapers, an empty styrofoam coffee cup, and glossy newspaper advertisements sprawled all over the floor like a pig-sty. It wasn't pretty. This little situation I described is a perfect example of  how cause and effect works in a sense of Karma. What could this situation perpetuate for the individual is unknown to myself and the other people on the train who had see this mess or witness its unleashing; however, this individual would wonder why they are having so many discourses as time move further from the present. I could think to say to them is, "Hey, don''t blame it on Murphy, you should learn to clean up your own mess."

Finally I want to go back in time, when I was living in San Francisco as a student at the local state university. I was walking toward the pier in downtown on a nice cool morning, and I saw this man sitting in front of a row of newspaper-magazine stand machines with his possessions in a shopping cart for transportation of these humble possessions. He was positioned across from a Subway, and various eateries attached to one of the gigantic office buildings in downtown.  He was quite impressionable and I thought he was from Tibet, possibly. His English was very decent. I just didn't know what to make of it. Was it his karma or was it just his choice? 

There we go that ambiguity, which lingers in accord with the choices we make. How will our decisions effect us in the future? Sometimes, we make choices based on pure reason of free will while other decisions are based upon future ramifications. This gentleman I refer to above, he was just that, he didn't seem a bit angry or ignorant about the situation he was in at that moment. I guess this was a choice based on his free will. From Karma's perspective, his choice is based upon his deed's, actions. Being homeless is not a Karmic attribute, no; but stealing, robbing, loving, helping, defying, lying, and providing are all derivatives of 'cause' and 'effect' in the annals of Karma. These derivatives are addressed from Karma's judgmental perspective.

With that in mind, this day is coming to an end; so, will that beautiful sunny beach, that delicious dark Stout, that refreshing tasty burger, that nice walk in the sand, that sunbathing hour by the ocean, that bus and train ride home, and the sunset outside the window of my private sanctuary. As I am alone in my studio soaking in my 2-dollar decrepit Onsen-hot bathtub. My head tilted back as I love watching the steam rise north then simmers from the hot water and my skin before it vanished into the thin air. If, this is a piece of what Karma has provided me from some of the rights actions, and deeds of my choices, so be it. If, its a calm before the storm that may later vanquish this happy moment to recall, so be it. With those two thoughts in mind, where do I go from here? It's only life, and karma knows ways to provide these lessons; but, I have to admit life's a puzzle with karma providing the pieces. I guess I will have to figure out where they fit.

The Art of the Self - The Challenge (What to do about Fear?)

I just finished soaking in my rusty old bathtub. This small studio is like a shack about to fall apart from a busted stilt keeping the whole building up! After my hot-bath, I toweled myself down and went to my resistance band workout! I need the burn in my shoulders. My pre-train workout. I will keep this up for another week before I start back weight training, shadow-boxing (and sparring, I hope my boku Yoshi is up to it. He has the Kenpo and I have Shotokan -Kickbox), jogging, climbing, and yoga. There is another tournament coming up 5 months from now. I want total preparation for this one. The challenge this time is to exceed my own expectations and win; my appearance was the first step, yet the knowledge and the expertise I contain should be known to myself in a more productive manner; my translation: start whooping that ass!

Fear is the one thing we must all conquer to cross a gap when in a challenge. I learned my fear was not to have a passion to inflict and to hurt other in competition. These tournament have been designed to test one's skill and courage when in a situation requiring hand-to-hand combat! From what I have observed and experience from the past two tournaments, there is another territory in the level of competition. I believe, I am one of the few competing because it is what I love to do. There are others competing for reasons that are lucrative and beneficial for their livelihood and reputations. Pride is a dangerous motivator; this motivation method is viciously prevalent in some of the competitors. It's their fuel to breath a fire to ignite their passions.

My passion for this sport was natural as a fan. This sport become apart of my life back in high school at Cary High in North Carolina. Before I wrestle for Cary High, I used to watch the wrestling programs like WWF, NWA, and AWA, etc. I remember the many wrestling superstars and when they invented the Superbowl of wrestling with the introduction of Wrestlemania and Starcade! I loved watching the wrestlers and the different techniques they practice and performed in front of live audiences. I love reading the magazines at the 7-11 Eleven's and grocery stores as a young kid. I discovered that wrestling existed in Japan, South America, and other cultures (that is this entertainment wrestling).

As time moved on, I become a member of the JV football squad at Cary High in my sophomore year. There was this one day at practice when the season was ending when Coach Winterton showed the football players a wrestling takedown move on Mike Dunham (it was a sprawl of Mike's double leg attempt). A light bulb lite in my mind and I discovered my sport, my passion. I was pretty good my first two years; I went undefeated my second year as a JV wrestler winning matches and tournaments, but my senior year I was a varsity member and close to becoming a conference champ, a regional placer, and a state qualifier. However, outside the practice room life was not harmonious. I had a very troublesome home life with an drug-addicted abusive step-father to boot.  This sort of thing really can be a barrier in a young person's life. When an opportunity present itself for a youngster to accomplish goals only to have it hinder by a peer or adult bringing their own demons into someone's life. It has devastating consequences. I was very naive at the time to the severity of these actions upon my life. I didn't know the opportunities that awaited me; had I not fallen deeper into an abysmal of rapture that cause this i would have take this road of sovereignty.

Now, diagnosis of my fear. This diagnosis entails: How, I am so afraid of what I could accomplish, because i don't want to take away from someone what they are trying to build for themselves. How, I don't want to be selfish and create a barrier for others for my own selfish reasons of progression. However, years have passed and I have always been the one to be left bleeding. My heart is very good and very compassionate one, but not everyone has such a special spirit. I let my fear become my worst enemy like a crutch keeping a crippled from falling. I let my fear keep my shackle to the floor of a cage never to rise like smoke from a flame. I let my fear hinder my success; I gave too much compassion and not enough aggression when in competition or when in progression in any endeavor. This is what they mean by the "cessations of suffering."

From this examine the echo that followed so profoundly bellowed-hue: I understand now, I am capable in my skill as a grappler. I understand now, I am as strong and as intelligent as I once was when I began being a grappler. I understand now, I must allow my balance to be complete in asserting my fury and my passion to be a survivor. I must assess and exert my aggression as well as my compassion to be a completely balanced athlete. I want to win and if I am to win I must see this as survival on the mat while inside the circle. This is my fuel to ignite my passion to spark the flame to keep the fire brewing a spirit into the cessations of nothingness. This is my belief. I must have a mind of total clarity, peace to extract the harmony and the disharmony to combat these competitors. I have to convert fear into my tool. A tool of nothingness.

I believe in my capabilities, and this believe is a reason I am about to progress and conquer the Self in my quest for enlightenment. I was so glad to say this to myself this morning while soaking away in my rusty old tub. It's like kicking it in an Onsen in Kyoto. It is where i do my best thinking for about an hour or two out of the week. It has become my sanctuary. 

The Art of the Self - The Challenge

Today, I decided to take a trip across town. I am in Hollywood on Highland Blvd.at a Starbucks. Consumer-Tourist heaven filled with the Hollywood cultural spiel of characters from Prostitutes to hustlers to tourist to street punks to nerds, etc. You name it and it's here, literately. The mania and the energy here is revolts around this phenomenal environment with the tourist stores, the sidewalks with the names of famous actors, athletes, musicians, and personalities; also included are fashion clothing stores, bowling alley, high class hotels, etc.. It saturates the whole city in its micro-bacterial infestation. It's hard not to notice it, but I am beginning to have a sort of distaste for this sort of environment lately. Nothing personal, it's just maybe I have outlived the experience and the reality of this city. It has lost it sparkle and transformed into a gaunt-spectacle of virality. The vitality is a virus to consume the self into an erosive deterioration.

Henceforth, I have just begun summer vacation from the university. I have been able to catch up on some much needed rest and reading during this first week of vacation. I was able to clean up my small studio apartment. I still have some more things to clean up, but the one thing I need to clean is "my mind." I think one of the toughest things we have to consider about life is how do we confront ourselves? It's always a challenge to acknowledge a problem within ourselves, but the biggest obstacle is whether we wish to change or to cultivate this problem into a fruition of the Self. This challenge offers us the ability to be far more capable than what we are told we aren't capable of.

I think the word "challenge" defines the first thing to come to mind when anyone wants to confront the face that they see in the mirror every morning they wake-up. The "Self" is an interesting psychological infrastructure that is a combination of experiences, observations, and illusions we have confined as an education. We could declaratively recall many events in an episodic or a semantic position, but they could easily be forgotten or trivialized by a new sources of information. Either way, this is a perfect example of education in the process of the Self.

A great reference to this challenge I speak of could be better exemplified by the Buddha's "Noble Eightfold Path." This path was constructed by Siddhartha as the means to end suffering in the Self.  The Eightfold Path contains the following:

1. Right View	Wisdom
2. Right Intention
3. Right Speech	Ethical Conduct
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort	Mental Development
7. Right Mindfulness
8. Right Concentration

Each principle in the Eightfold Path has a purpose to end suffering that leads any individual, who follow it, to the understandings of their suffering and the obtainment of their enlightenment. The Self should be seen as a vehicle toward the path and the road we choose to travel in search of answers and of quest toward more unknowable accolades the Self desires to obtain.

The Eightfold Path is just an example of the Self's capabilities when given the opportunity to seek knowledge and to seek enlightenment or to seek refuge from the many strifes developed by the persistence in life's trivial endeavors. I am not saying life is perfect, but I know we all can't evade suffering. The Self should never be neglected for it's like a slow-burning suicide. Denying the Self what it needs to fuel it's fire will not kill the problem or save you time; no. This will prolong the process of the inevitable that life, as you known it to be, will not remain in this state of stagnant mediocrity.

The awakened mind is a mind one must taste; furthermore, I wake up everyday wondering or thinking what i can do to make it better for myself! I cannot live my life not knowing the position I have with myself and with the environment I inhabit. I have to divorce every emotion and every person close to me when a question of my faith in my will to exist. I know I have desires and I have pleasures I want to obtain, but I cannot proceed forward to experience and enjoy these delightful pleasures in leisure without some sort of understanding of my position in the Self. I can't be nobody's fool, but my own. I think the best part about this awakened state is the acknowledgment of how powerful and how prudent the "Self" is as an identity and as a personality for us who questions it. This analysis is just one of the gaps we must fill about the "Self."

It's weird; I didn't expect to write this much or anything at all. Yet, I woke up this morning filled with elation and with ease. It was a peaceful state I have longed for in quite sometime until I walked out of the door of my apartment, took the metro train from Long Beach to Downtown L.A. all the way to Hollywood. Oh boy! When you are fresh like I am at the moment, there are the wolves, the cats, the cheetahs, and the dogs smelling your scent and ready to get a piece of the feast. I am the one in the sheep's clothing; but, I am not a wolf....I am a different creature.