Reflexive thought #8: The Reflexion of a languish nature while on the wings of a sparrow in mitigation..........



Man, the Buddha was not joking when he spoke of suffering. Tran-san, you have been on my mind for many restless nights. I am contained with ETHER of your essence. It brews this generative fluid of  fire in magnitudes incalculable by time....... 




Its two weeks  into my summer break from the university. I have so many things I must accomplish. I will be working on my graduate school application for one. Also, this blog will be my website, temporarily. I have to find someone who may be able to help me build my website, I know it will not come cheap. I am preparing for my next tournament and I will make entries on my Grappler's Quest blog http://ryu-zen-grappling.blogspot.com/ about my thoughts, maybe analyze some videos/techniques, and how give some provocative insight from thought of my mental preparation for this next tournament adventure.

.....thoughts of you have me bursting with joy at times, yet these feeling leave stumbling like a drunk louse walking out a hole-in-the-wall bar dive on Jones Street in downtown San Francisco. The joy and pain life can bring a man on the tip of greatness and self-discovery is a dualism one must endure.......

I plan to add some nuances to this blog; in anticipation for the website. First, I have a couple interviews lined up for this summer. One of them will be with traveling French filmmaker named Vincent Moon. Second, a Beat-mixing hip-hop artist from Torrance, CA named Julian Zimbron aka Juels. I will leave their URL's at the bottom for those who want more information on these individuals. Both these men represent Reflexive Psychology not as mere phenomenons of cultures and environments, but prudent figures that exist in the spectrum of human living. The importance of these interviews are to gain insight on their endeavors and how these endeavors influence our behaviors and habits. The power of art is a reflexion of our conscious make-up. Humans are influenced everyday by something someone has spoken, written, performed, created, or displayed in different formats all around the world. Their creative outlets are the milieu of our unconscious appetites; because we humans crave and feed off their, or any creativity for that matter. This connection attracts a person's emotional condition that transforms into a hypnotic spectrum of inspiration in its vein of resourcefulness.

Love, duality is the ingredient to keep one's life maintained with excitement. Tran-san, you are my excitement, my joy, my sorrow, my love. I can't lie to myself. You are what I have been waiting for, but how long must I wait for you to utter a word to your ears my Tran........

On a lighter note, my future plans for this blog will involve lots of videos, photos, articles, stories, and interviews. I may even try to put together a contest for a cash prize. I have lots of plans for this blog conversion into a future website and it will take alot of hardwork to construct and make it come to life. The principle idea to make sure I can give you reader what you want or desire in your readable experience. There will be more to come. I may conduct a personal or self-interview (I am do for one of those). In all, everything I have written is to uncover the principle perspective of Reflexive Psychology. This creation is a phenomenon in the making and my words, my vision, my spirit are the epiphenomenon for you to experience with your own eyes to comprehend. The eyes, windows to the heart & soul.

P.S. Those poetic interludes are a piece of my reflexion in my cultured existence. For I exist in love, and mitigate in spirit to a place foreign, yet native to my soul. These reflexions I share with you all and I dedicate to the one I hold dear to my heart. Yes, these words and photos are for you Tran-san. 

Peace out. Until next blog entry.

Here are the links for the two individuals I will possibly interview in the next few months:

Vincent Moon:

http://fiumenights.com/

http://www.temporaryareas.com/

http://en.blogotheque.net/serie/concert-a-emporter/

Julian Zimbron aka Juels: 

http://juels.bandcamp.com/

twitter.com/juelssss

http://soundcloud.com/juelsbeats

REFLEXIVE PSYCHOLOGY - The Art of the Self: Reflexive Thought #6 - Windows on the train with w...

REFLEXIVE PSYCHOLOGY - The Art of the Self: Reflexive Thought #6 - Windows on the train with w...:   Reflexive Thought #6 -  Windows on the train with water drops descending...... It's a rainy Sunday afternoon. I just finished watching ...

Reflexive Thought #6 - Windows on the train with water drops descending......

 Reflexive Thought #6 - 
Windows on the train with water drops descending......
It's a rainy Sunday afternoon. I just finished watching the new film: Hunger Games at the Regal Cinema in Downtown LA off Olympic Boulevard by the Staples Center. I love how rain drops descend from the sky unto the earth. People always seem so frightened of the rain pouring all over there clothes. This is oblivious to me. I love the water. It's one of the most nourishing and powerful elements on this planet for without it most life on earth would not exist.

Life without water would not exist true, but what about love? I have had this female in my Japanese Class on my mind since the beginning of the semester. She is everything I wanted in a woman and then some. She has thought me something about myself; I Am Not A Loser. I sat in the cinema watching the film and all I could think about was her and me. I could imagine us laughing and talking over a cup of tea before this film; taking a train ride to and from Long Beach to this cinema; walking around Downtown LA or Long Beach in the rain looking at store while holding hands in this rain or any weather; and walking around on campus from Japanese Class to her next class which is on the way to the library.

My heart, my soul, and my spirit has engulfed this emotional possiblity. She is the titanic that has floored my existence. I never saw myself for what I was until I met this female. Her Animus has balanced my Anima. I only hope my Anima has done the same for her Animus. I want to hold her in my arms in a soft embrace and kiss her soft red lips. She has such a beautiful complexion upon her skin. She is natural in her beauty. No make-up, no fancy clothing, no ostentatious manner, only a simple female sway in her manner.I miss her already.

We have Spring Break this week and I have to be without her for a whole week. This is a great test of my loyalty, my dedication, and my strength in fate. I will think about her all week into Monday when we return to school. This is perhaps the healthiest love I have had for any woman in my life. I am willing to wait, but will she notice my affection? Only time will tell. This reflection is one that comes from the heart. There is nothing phenomenological about it. It is simple attraction. When you have this feeling for someone, you don't hide it. You must embrace it. This will take you places you have never knew existed.


If there was ever a love so precious 
it would be her face.
If there was ever a beauty so irrefutable
it would be her grace.
If there was ever a woman so special
it would be her existence.
If there was ever a presence so breathtaking
it would be sensuous access.

Love is such a soliloquy of symmetry
the mystery is nothing short of tranquility.
Ah, the longing for the eternal embrace
becomes the only immaculate appetence.
My life is my love
this love is my wholesome dove.



This is poem I wrote says it all. I found that place in my heart; I found that passion I longed for in my soul. The only way to make it complete is to have her with me in sweet victory. For, all this longing and waiting would be of ill-reputable defeat. I will not be defeated nor will I give up. My life has become more than just a quest. No, this is a conquest for my love. I never knew how much love could teach me about myself once I have taken the shroud from my eyes and explored the possibilities in myself, in her, and in this chemistry we have built; anything is possible whether you are in love or not. This reflexion is a sparkling ray of sunshine on this rainy afternoon. Peace to those who are in search of something bold, and reflexive.....

REFLEXIVE PSYCHOLOGY - The Art of the Self: Reflexive Thought #6 - What has sprung unto my lif...

REFLEXIVE PSYCHOLOGY - The Art of the Self: Reflexive Thought #6 - What has sprung unto my lif...: What has sprung unto my life now?......... Reflectance: in this fair city I am in a state of ........... It's a Sunday afternoon at the...

Reflexive Thought #6 - What has sprung unto my life now?......

What has sprung unto my life now?.........
Reflectance: in this fair city I am in a state of ...........


It's a Sunday afternoon at the beach in Santa Monica. I just bought a painting from one of the vendors on the Venice Boardwalk. I have been staring at it religiously while sipping my cup of Japanese Cherry ocha - お茶 (Japanese word for Tea folks!) at the Coffee & Bean on the corner 2nd Street & Santa Monica Blvd. In this painting, there is a yellow background with a man in a jumping pose with legs tucked together as he is mid-air in a V-shape as he hold his sombrero with left-hand and his right-hand on his hip. It appears to be a male Flamenco dancer in what the Spaniards considered to be called Duende (a sort of enlightenment or ultra-level in the  moment of the dance). The definition of grace and power is expressed in this painting. This initially grabbed my attention.  I have never seen such mastery and awe in a painting. It's just one of those things we all will experience in our lifetime. The captivation of expression......

I just finished working out at the Old Muscle Beach on the Santa Monica side of the beach. I previously exited the bus on the Venice end of the beach. I don't know the exact distance, but I was breaking a sweat while the sun was glistening it's rays on my brow as I walked the boardwalk from downtown Venice Beach to the Santa Monica Pier. The Old Muscle Beach is yards from the pier; visible in distance. When I got to the Old Muscel Beach spot, I just did a couple of repetition lifts on the parallel bars, on the pull-up bars, and one rope climb. I am still in need of a tune-up in my strength training. I think I will start coming to Santa Monica every weekend to get in this type of work out.This is the extra push I need and I have an excuse to come out here every weekend.

I have plenty of time to strengthen every muscle in my body. I want to be in total coalesce with my body and mind before the next tournament. I want to make a statement for the coming Freestyle/Greco-roman wrestling season; right after the Olympic games. I have plans this summer to get in some technique practice with a friend of mine. I know where I can reach him. He is out in the Valley some where northeast of Long Beach.

As I am writing this blog, I am reflecting on this plateau I am reaching. I am about to graduate from CSULB with a Bachelors' of Arts in Psychology. I have been put through hell to get this degree for time is due. My time is now. The other thing is I am in love. I am actually in love with someone. She exhibits and possess the quality I seek in her woman. I love her independence, her spirit. She seem to have her head on straight. I respect her and adore her femininity its so balanced for she exhibits her animus and her anima in the very essence of her lips and the sway in her merry hips. We are both in the same Japanese class together. Everytime she enters the room she lights up my morning. To see her in class, is one of the things that makes my day.

Their is a possibly I may make a trip to Thailand for the coming Water Festival around April 13-15. I would love to celebrate the Buddhist New Year with other Buddhist in Thailand. As well, I would love to bring this lady with me. Yet, I can't rush the growth of a flower. I want her blossom and concot the nutrients necessary for her to cultivate her natural latitudes and longitudes. She has an ocean of opportunity. I am just glad she came into my life on January 23, 2012. It was the first class of the first day of the Spring semester at CSULB.

From that high note, I feel fresh, relaxed, and inspired. For years, I have sought certain qualities in my self-development as an individual. I still have a long way to go. The journey is solid for I am the lark. Sooner or later, I will glide to another nest. However, I want to detach from this loneliness and attach to companionship. The Buddha teaches us to be compassionate and detached. I am beginning to understand detachment is solely derivative of anti-social or recluse nature, but to seek knowledge from these virtues to further the self  into another venture on the journey.

A matter of fact, next Sunday I may be working with a Capoeira group. This is something I must obtain in my life right now. Expression. I am not looking back. Whatever may still be lurking back there might as well find someone else? I won't be there to be  harassed anymore. I have shed this withering skin and have molded into something more profound. This is what reflexive psychology is about; to take the old and convert it to the new; for one to take recollection, regress upon it and transform into a profoundity of introspection.

The sun is shining again, but this time. I get to see it with tears of joy every morning riding the LBT 96 ZAP line all the way to the CSULB every Monday through Thursday morning. El Quinto Sol. Yo soy EL SOL. Yo soy EL SOL de Budha! Yo soy EL SOL de mio. Yo soy EL SOL de mi amor! This is what the journey is about, the love, the respect, and the..............SO(U)L......................................????

Reflexive Thought #5 - Autumn and the view outside my windows......

The object of affection is such a reflection

of our former and/or present personalities;

a jewel of the unconscious autonomy.

-Reflection  in solipsism

 Reflexive Thought #5 -

Autumn and the view outside my windows......

This time of year is one in moments of hibernation. In this incubation, we learn to shed our skin and unveil many different feelings and emotions. Much like the myriad of trees and plants shedding an amalgamation of colorful leaves on the many green pastures on this earth, we will reveal many different thoughts within ourselves from the containment in sustainable periods of time throughout the present and/or former years. The future is never thought about; its the present that represents this unmasking in it cloak of realism.

I wrote this little idyll-prose this morning while I took a bus ride to school. I had this emotional erupting ascend from my present subconscious at that time. These emotional-pouring unveiled itself in a moment of self- unawareness.

I am at a pivotal point in my life right now. I about to obtain a goal while disrupting this tension that has tried to keep me shackled for years. I am not one who gives up nor lay down. I am a compassionate, honest, humble man. I wish to remain as harmless as possible. I want to contain, in my  mind, the many attributes aligning me with a duality in balance upon my path toward enlightenment and goal attainment.

For those of you who read this, enjoy; I hope you learn from this peace of my unconscious reflection. I am not devoid of reality nor am I an "all-seeing" philosopher of the universe. I am just a simple man making his way through the many avenues we call life. This is a piece of where my mind is presently roaming in one of those avenues............

AUTUMN & THINKING OF YOU

Autumn is in full bloom. As I walk down the sidewalk from the bus passing all the Language Arts building to Psychology Building for Japanese. I look to the left and see all the leaves decorate the lawn as they shed their summer and spring full sprout blossomed herbal leafiness.

Usually, some people feel lonely this time of year. Out of touch with family, friends, and loved ones. I have learned to grow accustom to enjoying such isolation, autonomy and freshness. These moment grow into solipsis bubble where regret, reflect, recollect, and memory become tools of leverage in this isolate state.

Usually, I start with the sad memories and work toward the good memories. As I, always, discard the ugly episodes, and embrace the beautiful episodes.

This issue of loneliness should never be something malignant for I receive plenty intellect and warmth from these moments. It's as pure as drinking a cup of tea in the morning while your mind is free from exhaustion and the noises in the background is saturated by this moment in silence. It's comforting like when I wear my favorite wear sweater while walking around in 50 degree weather around campus, in the city or on the beach. It's sparkles like the smile on your face while you are engrossed in laughter and conversation with friends or colleagues.      

Those images provides me with a spindle of emotion and a bundle of knowledge in my well being that a tear falls from my eyes streaming down my face on my cheek on to my beard as its soaked into the forest of hair follicles on my chin..... so pure, so illuminating, so lively, so lovely. I am alive....I am compassionate.....I am experiencing.....Buddhaness.
    

Haiku:

Leaves fall asunder,

A man walks in wonderness,

a root of tranquility.

Reflexive Thought #4 - Reflection in travel........

As we voyage onto the unknown in this lifetime, 

we become familiar with the known. 

This familiarity render a strength in fate.

As one does travel,

one become autonomous from the illusions of recollections.

Thus, modernity become distance from 

these delusions in transition......

-Anonymous 

Reflection in travel....

Reflexive thought #4 - Reflection in travel

I was looking at some of the photos of a friend of mine I met a couple years back while I attended SF State. He is from  Tokyo, Japan. His name is Naoki. We hung out a couple times, you know 'Bro-dates' in San Francisco. We went to see a live  band performing various DJ Shadow's songs while he took photos of us in our mischievous moments at the event (we even met DJ Shadow in front of the club, real chill homey); also, he, Keiko, two other people, and myself all drove out to the Mountainview Shoreline Amphitheater to watch Bjork perform one of her legendary set,s and we both went to see Mono perform at the same venue of the DJ Shadow live band, I was videotaping the show while he sat upstairs in the Mezzanine sleeping with his arms folded over his chest in a chair, I wish I had a picture of it. This venue was the legendary Great American Music Hall.

As it turns out, Naoki returned to Tokyo after that last semester of studying at SF State. He went back to his life over there in Japan while I was able to follow and communicate via Facebook. After a year has passed, he posted on Facebook that he moved to Singapore to work for a newspaper. I was very excited and in awe of this event.

Recently he has begun to post photos of his travels there in southeast Asia, a place I wish to call home real soon). I was on Facebook and saw he posted some new photos. In my heralded excitement, I saw these series of photos where from Nepal.

Traveling is probably one of the most addictive activities in the world. I love traveling for the extreme limitlessness adventure. The purity of the gem is the priceless moments of breathing air in another hemisphere of the world, listening to the constant chatter of locals in their native dialects, which are foreign to our ears, sleeping in a bed, a floor, a couch, or a spot different from the comforts of your native abode, it all become this relative out-of-body experience. Your senses are infested with myriad of emotions like a ball of flurries dispersing in the winds in the fields of dandelions planted in a soils rich as the liquor you drink from the bar that is across the street from the cafe of the building where your hotel is located.

Aaaaahhhhh! The true beauty of civility is the severity of reality! The reality is he's there. Everything is pure. Everything is illuminate. Everything is real. Every photo he encapsulates with his camera, is as if, he took pen to paper writing every moment, feature, and detail of his travel progressing in the movement of every minute ticking by the seconds increasing on the hours of the days in the week he is inhabiting the culture of Nepal.

I am sure Buddha is touching his soul right now. I would love to touch that same soil, that same sky with my heart, my hands, my body, my skin, my hair, my soul while soaring the different patches of land as an eagle gliding over the Himalayan heavens to greeting the great masters of compassion and enlightenment. For know I have such a long road is an ultimate test in spiritual practice and soulful assessment of my existence. I see this travel as a investment in the soul's kitchen cooking up the porridge of mantras from the lips and breathes of the blessed lama deep in the temples of the Himalayas.

Damn, Naoki, you kicking it with Papi Buddha. He's the butter of the delicious milk tea from the Gobi Desert sands of time and the grassland fields of Ulaanbaatar that I have been hearing about. There is no other way to put it. You are on the level 5th,. 6th, and 7th level of the pathos that can touch the soul. Your feet are like kindred spirits with each step has a golden touch. How surreal? How appealing? How dazzling? You are living the life that many can only read, imagine, and memorize in the hoo-hum in moderation. That's the sensation. You have become the teacher to amateur apprentice of living the dream: traveling on the road.

I just want to conclude my man, that "YOU ARE THE MAN!" You need to keep doing "pimping Nihonjin!" Your sukiyaki BANG is the ZANG that keep the TANG tasting like RAIN! Yeah! My man, one day we will be chilling holding glasses or mug in each  of our hands and toasting to the beauty of life and the cultures we have yet to experience their profound glory, history, and purity of existence.

I wrote this reflection as a reminder to myself, and to whoever is reading this. If you have a dream. It does not stop unless you stop walking, stop talking, stop thinking, and stop breathing the morsel of air seeping in to your pours to your veins into the dendrites, axon, and cells to electrify your brain. You must understand people, we all have a reason to live as we have a reason to die. If you can't envision yourself doing the things you love then you can't truly understand what love is. This is life and how you live it is how you believe in life itself.

Peace from the hearts, the souls, and the minds of those like Naoki and myself, who will make things happen in our lives. Regardless of our own culture references to validity; we have learned that our knowledge, and our power in education has opened roads to vast and wide avenue far and wide!!!

Haiku

I asked a monk if

"If is rain does it pour?"

Monk said, "Why should it rain to pour?"